AFistfulOfPasta

<script>window.music("saloon")</script> The saloon. A man is playing the pianola in the background. A cloud of smoke hovering over the heads of the customers. A couple tables of poker. In the other tables, people are talking, laughing, [[drinking]].

<script>window.music("none")</script> There is so much tension in the saloon that you can almost breathe it. No one moves. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" - shouts someone from the back "Who is that?" - asks the stranger. "DID YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK FOR A DOUBLE WHISKEY IN THIS HOUSE?" "Who is talking? Reveal yorself!" "ANSWER ME! DID YOU ORDER A WHISKEY???" [[yes->drink]] [[no]] [[maybe]] [[none of the above->maybe]]

<script>window.music("saloon")</script> Everyone relaxes, and they go back to what they were doing. The stranger is dressed like a lumberjack, but with a cowboy hat. The pianola player is wearing a tiny cowboy hat too. The poker players, in both tables, cowboy hats. Everyone is wearing cowboy hats. There is a cowboy hat hanging from the chandelier in the middle of the room. And some more in the walls, framed, as decoration, where you would ususally find deer heads. The barman serves him the milk. The stranger starts drinking while he contemplates the scene around him. He has a milk moustache now. He looks ridiculous. [[lick your moustache seductively->milk]] [[wear it proudly like a man->milk]]

<script>window.music("none")</script> As a matter of fact, it's raining. And cold. Everyone can see that the stranger is lying. What is he hiding? Maybe he's a runaway, trying to evade justice. Maybe there is a bounty on his head. A big bounty. Maybe he killed someone. Maybe he slept with someone else's wife, and when caught, he killed the husband. That makes prefect sense. Otherwise, why would he say the it's hot when it's not? The stranger feels awkward. The whole room feels awkward. The awkwardness is so thick that you could cut it with a knife. But it would need to be a very sharp knife, because awkwardness is also awkwardly soft sometimes. [[Come up with something else to say]] [[Turn around and leave the saloon, leaving behind a cloud of nope->brexit]]

<script>window.music("none")</script> From his appearance, there is nothing remarkable about the stranger. Blue jeans, lumberjack shirt, cowboy hat, leather boots. It would be remarkable in another setting, but this is a saloon in the far west. So much west that you could almost say it's the east already. People dress like cowboys all the time in here. "My name is... [[Jack->mynameis]] [[John->mynameis]] [[Bruce->mynameis]] [[Will->mynameis]] [[Stu->mynameis]] [[Mick->mynameis]] [[Mike->mynameis]] [[Mack->mynameis]] [[Duncan->mynameis]] [[Axel->mynameis]] [[Alex->mynameis]] [[Frank->mynameis]] [[Steve->mynameis]] [[Chazz->mynameis]] [[Lenny->mynameis]] [[Johann->mynameis]] [[Simon->mynameis]] [[Paul->mynameis]] "

<script>window.music("saloon")</script> "The birds in this part of town are nicer!" That's the moment when all realize that the stranger is not quite sane. But he does not seem to be too harmful either, so it's alright. The whole story about killing someone's husband, maybe not true after all. He still feels awkward, but at least the room has calmed down. On a quick glance, he sees two men playing poker in one of the tables. He decides he should definitely join them, trying not to call anyone's attention any more. [["Gentlemen, may I?"->poker]]

<script>window.music("saloon")</script> Everyone laughs at the stranger's name. Which is strange on itself, because the stranger's name is not that strange after all. They calm down and go on minding their own businesses. The stranger feels that this would be a nice time for a game of poker. There are two tables. One is full, but in the other one there are only two players. Two tiny men, each one smaller than the other, their feet not reaching the ground as they sit. One of them is bald like a bowling ball. The other one is hairy like a bowling ball. They could be twins. The stranger invites himself to thhe poker table. "Good evening, dear gentlemen! Is it real money that you are betting in this game?" "Of course it is!" - answers one of the men - "Are you taking us for children, playing with chocolate money?" "That is very insulting, sir. Are you trying to insult us?" - adds the second one. [["That cannot be further from my intentions. I was considering joining your table, if I may"->poker]]

<script>window.music("saloon")</script> "ALRIGHT. I WAS JUST ASKING." Everyone calms down. The stranger is served his drink, which he sips calmly. He looks at the poker tables. In one of them, two men are playing, each one appearing rougher than the other. They look like two big bears from the mountains, about to bite each other's head off. This might just be what the stranger was looking for. A nice game of poker, a couple helpless bastards about to be separated from their money. He invites himself to the table. [["Dear gentlemen, may I join you for a couple of hands?"->poker]]

<script>window.music("none")</script> "SO WHAT DID YOU ORDER?" [["A shot of tequila"->drink]] [["A cold beer"->drink]] [["Water. Just drinking water"->drink]]

<script>window.music("none")</script> "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? DID YOU ORDER IT OR NOT?" "To be honest, I don't remember. It was a long time ago" The whole room goes "ooooh". Another man talks: "It was just now! How can you not remember? Are you like that Memento guy?" A third man joins the conversation: "I think he is lying to us! He does remember what he ordered!" The first one chips in: "WHO IS THIS MAN ANYWAY? DOES HE GO AROUND SALOONS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY ORDERING WHISKEY ALL THE TIME?" "Wait a minute." - second - "We haven't established yet whether he did order whiskey in here or not." "BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO TELL AND IS PRETENDING TO BE AMNESIAC!" - third, now shouting. Everyone is getting more and more nervous. A fight will start at any moment. The stranger decides to do the wise thing and [[leave while they are distracted arguing with each other->brexit]]

<script>window.music("saloon")</script> Both gentlemen are experienced poker players. One hand after another, the game appears to be even. Each man winning here, losing there. It's after the sixth game that the stranger scores an extraordinary hand. More luck than wits, but an impressive [[victory]] after all.

<script>window.music("saloon")</script> While everybody is minding their own business, the stranger walks around, glass in hand. In one of the poker tables, two big men, big like grizzly bears, are playing. Both of them look ferocious. There is a lot of aggressivity in the way they hold their cards in their hands, in the way they stare each other, and in the way they stare at the stranger. This seems the right time and place for a quick game of poker. What can go wrong? [["Dear gentlemen, would it bother you too much if I joined your game?"->poker]]

<script>window.music("saloon")</script> As the stranger is walking out, another man blocks the exit. "We meet again, Harry" "Wait, who is Harry?" "Don't play fool. We both know what you did that night" "I am sorry, mister" - continues the stranger - "You might be mistaking me with someone else" "I have been chasing you night and day. Through the forests. Through the mountains, and through the plains. And through the shopping malls." "I insist. I am not who you think I am." "Don't try your tricks on me. Your schtick is not working." "Please, let's be reasonable." "Your adventures end here, today, Harry. You, me, man against man. In the street. Now." The crowd explodes with joy - "DUEL! IT'S GOING TO BE A DUEL EVERYBODY!" There is no way out of this situation. [[Leave to the street and face your destiny->duel]]

<script>window.music("duel")</script> The stranger walks outside. The town is gathered, eager for the show. The opponent is waiting. Step by step, the stranger walks to the middle of the street. Only a fistful of yards between the [[two men]].

<script>window.music("none")</script> Then, silence. A stranger has just walked in. Everyone turns around. You can hear a fly passing. He walks to the bar. [["A double whiskey on the rocks, please"]] [["A glass of fresh milk"]] [["Boy, surely it's hot today, uh?"]] [["Ladies and gentleman, let me introduce myself"]]

<script>window.music("saloon")</script> "YOU CHEATER" - shouts one of the men, his face red with rage. "I SAW YOU!" "Please, mister. I was only lucky." "MY ASS, LUCKY!" - the man stands up, in all his spectacular height. - "YOU JUST CHEATED! ADMIT IT!". The other man is silent. "I did not cheat. This was a clean victory" - the stranger insists. "OH YEAH? I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL. NOW. OUTSIDE." - He is shouting so loud that the whole room hears it. "Please, why don't we resolve this dispute like civilised men?" "WE WILL RESOLVE IT LIKE REAL MEN!" The enraged poker player storms out of the saloon. [[Follow him and face your destiny->duel]]

<script>window.music("none")</script> <img src="AfistfulOFpasta_blackBG.png" style="width:100%"/> Berlin Mini Game Jam A MAZE edition April 2019 Concept & Music: Tommy Friese Text: Christiaan Janssen [[Enter the saloon->Saloon]]

<script>window.music("duel")</script> The townsmen have brought the stoves. Placed them carefully next to each other. Each stove with a good pile of wood on the side. Each stove with a tall pot, full of water, ready to be boiled. It's going to be a brutal duel. One man will conquer. Defeat. Destroy. Humiliate. It's going to be a cooking duel. A cook-out. It's going to be [[Penne alla arrabiatta]]

<script>window.music("duel")</script> Swiftly, each man runs to his assigned stove and starts throwung wood in. A good fire will make the water boil good. The opponent stares at the stranger fiercely. The water gains one degree. The opponent stares even more fiercely. The water warms up a little more. It is an intense duel. [[Throw the penne in already, it will boil eventually]] [[No! The water has to boil first! Start cutting garlic and chilli for the sauce->chopchop]] [[Stare back even more fiercely, only fierce stares can win this duel->stare-off]]

<script>window.music("duel")</script> Seriously? [[YES! Rules are made to be broken!->throwit]] [[On a second thought, let's just wait for the water to boil before doing anything->stare-off]] [[Or maybe let's start chopping vegetebles->chopchop]]

<script>window.music("none")</script> Really? That is disgusting! There is no point in continuing this story. The stranger loses the duel and leaves the town in shame. THE END

<script>window.music("duel")</script> The stranger is not intimidated. Not one bit. He stands behind his pot and stares at the opponent with fearsome intensity. The water keeps warming up. Both men are now staring at each other, and it is as if knives were being thrown out of their eyes. In both pots, the water goes "blop!". The men lose awareness of their surroundings. The street, the town, they banish. There's only the two men and the two stoves. The stranger's water starts boiling! Ha! His stare was more intense after all! Quick! [[throw the pasta in]] (set: $pastafirst to true)

<script>window.music("duel")</script> The stranger does not fall for the provocation. He picks a clove of garlic and starts chopping it. He brought his own cooking knife, forged at the fires of mount Teufelsberg, the mountain of the devil, across the ocean. But that is another story, and shall be told in another time. A second clove of garlic is obliterated under the devil's knife, and then two hot chilli peppers come after them. Directly imported from the land of the mexicans, the finest, reddest of their species. And turned into a fine mist of delicious [[spiciness]]. (set: $pastafirst to false)

<script>window.music("duel")</script> ''A fistful of pasta'' goes into the stranger's pot. Penne rigate. The arrabiatta sauce will fill in the crevices of the rugged surface. "HA! Great mistake!" - laughs the opponent. He might have lost the staring contest, but he knows that, for the arrabiatta, penne lisce is the way to go. As the water of the opponent is starting to boil, the stranger is already cutting the vegetables to prepare the [[sauce->pastwo]].

<script>window.music("duel")</script> The opponent can't believe what he is seeing. The stranger is cooking instead of staring back! What an insult! What a fool! Everyone knows that staring always wins against actually cooking! But now is the moment of truth. The definitive choice that will make it or break it. The arrabiatta sauce is made in a saucepan, with a bit of oil. But what kind of oil? [[Sunflower oil, of course!->sunflower]] [["Vegetable oil", also known as rapsoel or colza oil->rapsol]] [[olive oil]] [[hemp oil]]

<script>window.music("duel")</script> The stranger has been using sunflower oil and only sunflower oil all his life. There is no other option. The vegetables fry just well. (if: $pastafirst is true)[And the pasta is cooked, just in time. Everything is going perfectly.](else:)[His water has started boiling, so he throws the pasta in. 8 minutes.] Meanwhile, he glances the opponent for a second. He's already midway into boiling the penne. Apparently the intense staring did something. He's just preparing the arrabiatta sauce. Better [[hurry up->sunflower done]]!

<script>window.music("duel")</script> Colza oil does not have the best of reputations. But that is because people don't know how to use it properly. That's what the stranger thinks. Sometimes he thinks stranger things. The vegetables fry just well. (if: $pastafirst is true)[And the pasta is cooked, just in time. Everything is going perfectly.](else:)[His water has started boiling, so he throws the pasta in. 8 minutes.] Meanwhile, he glances the opponent for a second. He's already midway into boiling the penne. Apparently the intense staring did something. He's just preparing the arrabiatta sauce. Better [[hurry up->sunflower done]]!

<script>window.music("duel")</script> The recipe for this dish is coming from the Mediterranean. And thus only the authentic oil from the mediterranean shall be used! Olive oil it is! The vegetables fry just well. (if: $pastafirst is true)[And the pasta is cooked, just in time. Everything is going perfectly.](else:)[His water has started boiling, so he throws the pasta in. 8 minutes.] Meanwhile, he glances the opponent for a second. He's already midway into boiling the penne. Apparently the intense staring did something. He's just preparing the arrabiatta sauce. Better [[hurry up->olive done]]!

<script>window.music("duel")</script> That is the secret weapon! No one suspects anything. They will love it, and they don't know why. The vegetables fry just well. (if: $pastafirst is true)[And the pasta is cooked, just in time. Everything is going perfectly.](else:)[His water has started boiling, so he throws the pasta in. 8 minutes.] Meanwhile, he glances the opponent for a second. He's already midway into boiling the penne. Apparently the intense staring did something. He's just preparing the arrabiatta sauce. Better [[hurry up->hemp done]]!

<script>window.music("duel")</script> As the opponent is finishing his dish, the stranger is just shortly behind. But it's about the taste, not about the speed. An ad-hoc jury has been formed. The town mayor is there, and the lady who sells flowers, and the other lady who also sells flowers, and the pianist of the saloon, who does not sell flowers. They start tasting the opponent's pasta. Ooooooh! So spicy!! So intense! Intense as the stare of a person who stares intensely! Then it's the turn of the stranger's [[pasta->sunflower fail]].

<script>window.music("duel")</script> As the opponent is finishing his dish, the stranger is just shortly behind. But it's about the taste, not about the speed. An ad-hoc jury has been formed. The town mayor is there, and the lady who sells flowers, and the other lady who also sells flowers, and the pianist of the saloon, who does not sell flowers. They start tasting the opponent's pasta. Ooooooh! So spicy!! So intense! Intense as the stare of a person who stares intensely! Then it's the turn of the stranger's [[pasta->hemp fail]].

<script>window.music("duel")</script> As the opponent is finishing his dish, the stranger is just shortly behind. But it's about the taste, not about the speed. An ad-hoc jury has been formed. The town mayor is there, and the lady who sells flowers, and the other lady who also sells flowers, and the pianist of the saloon, who does not sell flowers. They start tasting the opponent's pasta. Ooooooh! So spicy!! So intense! Intense as the stare of a person who stares intensely! Then it's the turn of the stranger's [[pasta->olive win]].

<script>window.music("duel")</script> And it's... fine. They don't dislike it, but it's kind of bland. The winner is clear. Everyone agrees. The stranger leaves the town in shame. THE END

<script>window.music("duel")</script> At first, the pasta is... just fine. Unremarkable. There is certain spiciness to it, but nothing compared to the other dish. And then, the major starts smiling. Then laughing. HAHAHAHA. The ladies start laughing too, and the piano player. And their laughter is contageous, and soon the whole town is laughing and laughing. And in the midst of all this laughter, the stranger and the opponent make peace, and they become good friends. The legend says, they are still friends to this day. THE END

<script>window.music("duel")</script> When they taste the stranger's penne, something happens. Something special. It's the sauce. It's special. Tasty, and spicy, but with a point of... joy. The battle has been very balanced, but at the end there is a clear winner. The stranger's pasta is just better. The opponent leaves in shame, never to be seen again. The stranger is appointed sheriff of the town. THE END

<script>window.music("duel")</script> The stranger starts cutting garlic and chili peppers. Thin. Suddenly... a flashback! The stranger is a child again. Playing with his brothers and sisters. Eight boys, five girls. His father, the pastor, is in the church that day. Suddenly, the stranger falls in the mud, head first. His brothers and sisters are laughing. Mama is not there. She went to the river... The memory vanishes, and stranger remembers that he is cooking penne alla arrabiatta. No time for childhood trauma now! It's the moment of truth. The definitive choice that will make it or break it. The arrabiatta sauce is made in a saucepan, with a bit of oil. But what kind of oil? [[Sunflower oil, of course!->sunflower]] [["Vegetable oil", also known as rapsoel or colza oil->rapsol]] [[olive oil]] [[hemp oil]]